Fresh Start
by beautifulxxxchaos
Summary: After losing her parents and surviving the war, Hermione is scarred. She finds herself sharing a dorm with her worst enemy for her last year at Hogwarts. Will things really be as bad as she thinks? Or will the secrets that get revealed show both students in a new light?- OOC, DM/HG, disregards a lot from the books, some smut later on. Rated M for a reason, you know. R&R and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, only the plot. **

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter One**

"Hermione, wake up," a woman's voice cut through her dreams. It wasn't her mother's, so she brushed it off as part of her dream. After all, who would be in her bedroom while she slept? Then the voice came again, coupled with a gentle shake. Hermione lurched up, wand in hand, to come face to face with Nymphadora Tonks, a fellow member of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Gods, Tonks, I almost killed you. What is it? Track down more rogues?"

Since Voldemort fell, the Order had devoted its time to tracking down escaped Death Eaters. Hermione was officially on call until summer was over and she began her final year at Hogwarts. She was keeping her parents away with their memories erased until the worst of the aftermath was over. This meant her house was often used for meeting, so being woken by Tonks was no real surprise.

The look on her face, however, was.

"Tonks? Are you okay? What happened?"

"Hermione… It's your parents…"

With those four words, Hermione's life collapsed around her.

"But the guards… They were protected…"

"They were taken out first."

"But… They… They didn't know anything! They didn't even know I existed!"

"I know… I'm so… I'm so sorry…"

When the tears flowed, Hermione wasn't sure if they would ever stop or if she would simply drown in them.

"Crucio!" the Death Eater shouted, but Hermione was able to deflect the spell, hitting him with a stun before petrifying him. She watched with grim satisfaction as he dropped to the ground.

"Did you get him?" Sirius asked as he rounded the corner. She had chased this Death Eater when he'd tried to escape, taking no back up with her. The others had been worried.

"Yeah. He wasn't that tough. Let his guard slip. You guys got the others handled?"

"Yeah. Tonight was a success if I do say so myself."

"I'd be inclined to agree with you."

"I also think we all deserve a drink or five when we get back to the house. I do hope Molly has supper set aside for us. This took longer than I was hoping, and there's nothing quite like catching bad guys to work up an appetite."

Hermione laughed and then levitated her prisoner in front of them as they made their way to the others. Hunting Death Eaters had become her life since her parents died two months before. She just hated the fact that she had to go back to school so soon. Only a week left, if her calculations were correct. She wasn't looking forward to it at all.

Soon enough she was reliving memories while looking up at the Hogwarts express. Convincing her parents that they really did have to walk through the wall, all their tearful goodbyes…

She shook her head to clear it of the images and boarded the train with the others. Harry and Ron had drifted away from her ever since she took on the more hardcore attitude she had now. She was 99% sure their friendship was simply for show, but couldn't bring herself to care all the much. She sat with them, joked with them, all while checking her watch to see when she had to leave for the Head Student's compartment.

No one noticed when she slipped off, and she was grateful to not bump into anyone in the hallway. The compartment was even empty when she arrived, giving her the chance to change into her uniform before the Head Boy arrived. She was adjusting the mandatory knee high socks when the door opened to reveal a rather annoyed looking Draco Malfoy.

"I should've known you'd be Head Girl. Gods, this is going to suck," he said and sat across from her.

"Well, hello to you too, Malfoy,"she replied and stood so he could adjust her skirt and fumble with the buttons on her uniform shirt. She was so mad she was shaking.

He watched as she tied a perfect Windsor knot in her tie, then redid it so that it was even _more_ perfect, then noted the way her uniform hung on her as though she had lost a significant amount of weight. He was momentarily worried for the girl before he banished the thought.

"How are we going to work out our patrols?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"You take one way, I'll take the other, that way we won't have to even speak to each other."

He didn't get her message, and continued on, "That sounds good, actually. McGonagal should be here soon, and we can get all that shit over with."

She only nodded before curling up with her iPod, an item that had fascinated Draco enough to get him to buy his own. She wasn't far into the second song when there was a small 'pop' as McGonagal appeared in the compartment.

"Oh, good, you're both here and there's no blood. That was a serious concern of mine. I understand this is not the most pleasant arrangement-" Draco snorted as she said this, "-but it's what Dumbledore wanted. After supper, I will escort you to your rooms. You will share a common room, personal kitchen, and bathroom, so get used to the idea of that now. I hope the two of you find the ability to get along with each other, or I'm afraid this year will be hell. Now, go do your train patrol. We'll be arriving at the school in about half an hour."

She disappeared, leaving them to go their separate ways and patrol the train.

"So Malfoy's the Head Boy?" Ginny asked. "That's terrible!"

"Can't you ask Dumbledore to let you stay in the Gryffindor tower with the rest of us?"

"No, Ron. Part of being Head Girl is dealing with stuff like this. I'll get through it somehow."

She didn't really care. Sure he was the son of a Death Eater and a right prat to boot, but she would have her own room to retreat to when she needed to be alone. She wouldn't have to deal with "The Golden Trio" drama. She could avoid her "friends."

'If Malfoy could behave himself even a little bit,' she thought, 'it wouldn't be so bad.'

When the feast was over, she and Draco helped the prefects guide the First Years out of the Great Hall and on their way. McGonagal showed them to their rooms, rambling about rules the whole time.

"Fidelity," she said in front of a portrait of a wood nymph, who proceeded to giggle and opened the portrait, revealing a comfortable looking common room. Two overstuffed leather chairs and a matching couch flanked the fireplace that had roaring flames going in it already. Bookshelves lined the walls, and two floor to ceiling picture windows took up the space on either side of the fireplace. To the left was the kitchen- a stainless steel and granite wonderland- and a flight of stairs that lead to an open walkway with two doors on either end.

"Miss Granger, your room is on the far right. Mr. Malfoy, yours is on the far left. There are doors in each of your rooms that lead to the bathroom. You will need to work out a schedule as far as showering and having guests goes. You are allowed to have friends spend the night, but only on weekends. Are there any questions?" Neither of them spoke up. "Good. Your things are already in your rooms, and I hope you find them to your tastes. Goodnight, and do try not to kill each other."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"I prefer to shower at night," Hermione said to break the silence that had fallen after McGonagal left. "How about you?"

"Mornings."

"Okay, that was easy. Warnings about friends coming over?"

"A day's notice at least if they'll just be hanging in the common room. I'll hang something on my door if I have a… different type of visitor, just so you don't disturb me."

"Yeah, thanks for that. If we plan on having overnight guests, I'd say let us know by the Wednesday before they come over."

"That sounds reasonable to me."

"Good."

She made her way up the steps without another word and began to explore her new room. Her favorite color- a deep plum purple- had been used for the bedding, and looked amazing against the charcoal grey walls. The bed itself was huge, king sized at least, and had a shimmery plum canopy over it. She had a bookshelf with all her favorites, a desk, a closet, and a dresser with a mirror over it, and was more than content with that. She opened what could only be the door to the bathroom and found Draco exploring just as she was. His room- which she could see through his open door- was almost identical to hers except the plum was replaced by a deep blue. The bathroom was magnificent, all marble with double sinks and a Jacuzzi tub.

"Make sure you keep your hands off my stuff, mudblood. I don't want your germs to infect anything."

"Really, Malfoy? Are you four? That insult is so overused. I wouldn't touch your stuff if I had to. Now are you done? I'd like to take a shower before I go to sleep."

"Whatever, Granger," he said and slammed his door behind him as he left. She locked it behind him, retrieved her clothes and a towel, and stripped down to enjoy the steaming hot jet of lilac scented water. She moaned a little as the water pressure pounded out the kinks that had made their home in her aching muscles.

She didn't realize the sound would travel, causing an unexpected and unwanted reaction from her roommate.

Hermione's first class was potions, something she used to dread because it was taught by Professor Snape. The war had brought out different sides in everyone, and Snape was among those she found weren't as bad as she thought they were. He was just a tough teacher who had seen way too much in his lifetime.

At that moment, however, she hated him for pairing her with Malfoy. "To promote unity between the Head Boy and Girl, of course," he had said. She cursed him under her breath.

He pulled her aside after class. "Dumbledore hinted to all the teachers to pair the two of you up whenever they could. I'd get used to the arrangement if I were you."

She sighed, "I bet we have the same class schedule too, huh?"

He smiled apologetically and sent her on her way. Sure enough, she spent every class next to him, listening to his snide remarks, smelling his damned near amazing cologne.

'I need a nap,' she thought as she realized what she had just thought.

She ended her day with Transfiguration and all but ran out of the class and up to her room. She blasted music from the portable speakers she brought with her- Bullet For My Valentine- and began to change. She had to meet the gang shortly so they could make their annual trip down to Hagrid's on the first day of school and didn't feel like getting her uniform dirty. Just as her skirt fell to the ground, her door opened.

"Get the fuck out, Malfoy!" she yelled, covering up quickly.

"You should lock your damned door then!" he yelled and slammed her door. He forced himself to ignore the sudden tightening in his pants just as he had to do the night before when he heard her in the shower. "Fucking Granger…" he muttered to himself as he went to wait in the common room.

"What the fuck was that about, Malfoy? Don't you know how to knock?" she stormed at him when she found him.

"I did, you just must not have heard me."

"Then knock again, perhaps louder, or wait for a break in the song. My music wasn't so loud that I wouldn't have heard you."

"You should've locked your door."

"How was I supposed to know you'd have the balls to barge into my room uninvited? You weren't even here when I got back! What was so damned important that you couldn't wait five fucking minutes?"

"I wanted to discuss our classes."

Her mouth moved but no sound came out. She had to count to ten to clear away the anger. "You barged in on me while I was half-naked because you wanted to discuss our classes? I'm the number one student in our school. You could be dumb as a rock and we'd still pass."

"I just wanted to-."

"Never mind, Malfoy, I don't have time for this; I'm running late as it is. We don't have anything due yet, so it can wait. And I'll lock my damned door next time."

With that she was gone, and he was left wondering how she had actually made him feel guilty.

She took her time walking back from Hagrid's. It was past curfew, but as Head Girl, it didn't really matter. She just wanted to enjoy the fresh air and quiet before returning to her hell hole of a dorm.

'I can't believe that fucker saw me in my underwear,' she thought and finally made her way into the school. She was exhausted.

He had a robe hanging over his door knob when she arrived, and as she heard the first moan echoing through the place, she seriously considered turning him in for breaking the rules. Instead the stumbled into bed after stripping down to nothing, set a silencing charm around her room, rolled over, and ignored the pain she felt at seeing her bed empty as it always was.

She dreamt she was floating in a sea of royal blue sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Before I continue, I am one of those people who loves making Ron an asshole and making Hermione go through really terrible things. Don't like? Don't read. **

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter Three**

The next couple of weeks passed in much the same rhythm: Hermione avoided the dorm as much as possible, when she did come back, she would discover Draco otherwise occupied, and they would somehow manage to get their schoolwork done on time and without killing each other. The only excitement occurred when Ron stopped by, unannounced, while they were working on an assignment.

"Hey, 'Mione," he half slurred when she opened the door.

"Oh, Ron… Now's not such a good time…"

"Come on, babe. I haven't seen you in forever. Now that I don't have a girlfriend anymore, I thought I could take you up on your offer from when we were on the road."

"Have you been drinking?"

"Only a little bit," he said and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I could still, well, you know. How 'bout it? Your room's up there right?"

She responded with a punch that sobered him up slightly. "Get out of here."

"What did you do that for? You were the one who always wanted me! I figured I'd pity you-!"

She hit him again, this time busting his lip open. "I wouldn't want you if you were the last man on the face of the earth. Get the fuck out of here. Have Harry sober you up or something."

She closed the portrait in his face and sighed.

"You say fuck a lot," was all Draco said from behind her.

Despite herself, she laughed until her sides hurt and tears flowed down her face. "After everything that just happened, after all the comedic fodder that was just handed to you on a silver platter, that's all you could come up with? Gods, Malfoy, I think you're losing your edge."

"I thought the situation was more than embarrassing enough for you without my input. Seriously, though, when did you start to curse so much?"

"It's only when I'm angry, really. My censor slips. You should hear what I think half the time."

"I'm… Impressed? I think that's the right word."

"Thanks, Malfoy. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

They had become civil over the last few weeks, but she hadn't been expecting a compliment any time soon. When she sat next to him, she found she could no longer focus on the assignment. "Can we finish this up tomorrow night? I lost my train of thought."

"Sure," he replied. "I was about to make some tea. You want some?"

"That would be great, actually. I'll clean this up while you get the water started."

He came back a few minutes later with a tray containing not only the tea, but cookies they had stashed in the cupboard.

"Are you feeling okay?" she joked. "A compliment, tea, _and _cookies? I'm almost worried."

He laughed. "Seeing you punch Weasley not once, but twice, put me in a good mood. What can I say? You surprised me, and for as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think I'll have to toss myself out the window to escape you this year."

She was about to comment when he pushed his sleeves up and began to pour the tea. Standing out against his milk colored skin was the Dark Mark. She had known it was there, known that he had been cleared of all crimes related to it since he hadn't actually done anything, but seeing the mark there, plain as day…

He followed her gaze and pulled his sleeve down quickly. "I'm sorry. I try to keep it covered. I just… forgot who I was with for a minute."

"No it's… it's okay," she said then added, without thinking about it, "Can I see it?"

He looked panicked for a minute, then resigned, before holding out his arm to her and pulling up his sleeve. She held his arm and looked closer. If she hadn't known it was the mark of a Death Eater, she thought as she traced her finger over the design, it would have passed as a lovely design.

"Death Eaters killed my parents, you know," she said offhandedly.

"I know. I'm sorry for that." She looked up and his eyes caught hers. "I was never really one of them, you know."

"I know."

* * *

Hermione and Draco didn't talk about their conversation. They got along better, something that didn't go unnoticed. Harry, Ron, and Ginny cornered Hermione outside of the Great Hall before lunch to ask her about it.

"What the hell is up with you and Malfoy? People are saying they saw the two of you hanging out by the lake yesterday," Harry spoke first.

"Yeah, and? We were working on that transfiguration project and didn't want to risk blowing up our dorm."

"Are you- are you becoming friends with the bloke?" Ron sputtered.

"I'm not sure, to be honest."

"That's disgusting!"

"What Ron means," Ginny cut in, "is that Malfoy's not a good person. The way he's always treated you… It's not right for you to overlook that."

"The last time I checked, I was a big girl who could make her own decisions. It's easier if we get along. We do work together, and we happen to share a dorm. It helps that we share an interest in the same music and books. I don't know why it matters to you guys so much."

"We're your friends, Hermione. We're just looking out for you."

"Yeah, hanging with Malfoy doesn't look good."

"For whom? I don't care what others thing of me. It's been you guys who've soaked up the fame. I've avoided it at all cost. Just forget it, guys. I don't even know if he and I are friends or whatever. We're just making it easier to live with each other."

She turned her back on them and made her way to the library to wait until her next class


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Hermione arrived back at the dorm to find Draco on the couch with some of his friends. They were all bull shitting until she came in.

"Oh… I'm sorry. I forgot you have company. I can go-."

"No, don't worry about it. I was actually hoping you'd be able to make some of those cookies you made the other night. I was telling the guys how good your cooking is."

"Did I miss something here?"

"Sorry. This is Blaise, Marcus, and Alex. I told them if they wanted to hang out here, they had to be on their best behavior."

"And we all decided that the prospect of homemade cookies was worth making a friend of someone new," Blaise added.

"How good did you tell them my cookies were?"

"They are really great…"

"Look, Granger, we don't really care about any of that old stuff, if that's what you're worried about," Marcus said while Alex nodded his agreement.

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to the idea of this one not wanting to kill me. Did you guys eat supper yet? If I'm going to cook, I may as well go all out."

She ended up making breaded chicken, mashed potatoes, and salad as well as the cookies she put in the oven when they sat down to eat.

"This is incredible, Hermione. Where did you learn how to cook?" Alex asked between bites.

"My mom started teaching me when I was really little, and I grew to love it."

"So all of this was made the Muggle way? No spells involved?"

"Nope. That takes all the fun out of it." The timer went off for the cookies and she got up to check on them.

As she bent over to look in the oven at them, she heard Blaise say, "How did we never notice how hot she was?"

"I know, right?" came Draco's response.

She ignored her heart's momentary stutter and pulled the cookies out of the oven. The smell of chocolate filled the room. She smiled at the quiet that fell behind her and Marcus' comment of, "God, those smell good."

"They should be cool enough when we've finished eating. I think there might even be ice cream in the freezer."

"I'm thinking that if you'll marry me and cook like this every day, I could make you a very happy woman," Blaise said and took her hand in his. "How about it?"

"Oh, shove off," she responded. "I think you could do the dishes once we're finished here."

"Will I get an extra cookie?"

"Perhaps."

"Not fair!" everyone else chorused and she laughed.

"Easy boys, there's enough for everyone."

She found herself having more fun that she could remember, though by the end of the night, she was talked into not only attending a party they were throwing, but also making dinner every Thursday night from then on.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The next day, Harry stopped her outside of the Great Hall. "Can we talk, Hermione?"

"Sure, Harry. What is it? More condescending remarks?"

He winced. "I deserved that. Look, I'm sorry. You were right. After everything we've been through together… For me not to trust you would be stupid. The war… It changed you. You're not like my little sister anymore. I don't have to protect you, even though I want to, and it's going to take me a while to get used to that. Okay?"

She was stunned. She thought they had stopped caring about her, but she had apparently been wrong. "Of course it's okay, Harry. And I'm pretty sure you were always like my little brother anyway," she joked, playfully punching him in the arm.

"Hermione!" Blaise said, running up to her. "Draco- he's hurt!"

"Where?"

"Hospital Wing."

She took off running before he could say anymore, taking the stairs two at a time. 'Please, Gods,' she prayed, 'Let him be okay.'

The hospital wing was abuzz with activity. "Good, he found you," McGonagal said as she entered.

"What happened?"

"Mr. Malfoy was attacked, of all things. Someone stabbed him outside the library. We have the wound closed up, but he needs a blood transfusion."

"Okay. Let's get him to St. Mungo's."

"There's no time, and we don't think he would survive apparating there. Miss Granger, you're a match to his blood type. I know how you feel about him…"

Hermione was already stripping down to her tank top and skirt. "Point me to where I need to go."

McGonagal took her stuff and lead her to a bed next to Draco's. There was blood everywhere, and they were just starting to clean it up. Draco- who was already pale enough- looked translucent against the stark white hospital bed.

"Who did this?" she hissed.

"We're not sure. No one saw it, and he was there for quite some time before anyone found him."

"Dearie, take this," Madame Pompfrey said and handed her a potion to drink. "It will help keep you going so you don't faint. We need to take quite a bit. You'll be hooked up almost right to him. Have you ever donated blood?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then you know almost what to expect. Lay down, there's a girl. This will only hurt for a second."

Hermione lay still while the transfusion was started, then watched as everyone bustled about, cleaning up Draco's blood from the floor, ushering people out. Only Blaise, who watched Draco for any sign of improvement, and McGonagal stayed behind. Dumbledore stopped by for a few minutes to speak briefly with her and Madame Pompfrey before offering Hermione words of encouragement and leaving. After close to an hour, Madame Pompfrey did some tests an declared that they could stop the transfusion.

"Will he be alright?" Blaise asked.

"Yes, he'll be just fine. He just needs to sleep."

"Good… That's good…" he whispered and walked over to Hermione. "Thank you so much. He's like my brother, you know? The only family I have left after the war." He hugged her. "Maybe I'll make you dinner this week."

"I'll do the cooking, thank you very much. I'd like to survive the mean, you know."

He laughed. "Thanks, 'Mione. I'm proud to have you as a friend."

"Of course. Now please go rest. You heard Madame Pompfrey, he'll be just fine."

"You're right. Plus, I bet everyone's worried."

"Then go ease their minds."

He squeezed her hand and left. She was grateful since she was beginning to feel the effects of the transfusion.

"When did this change occur, Miss Granger? Friends with Blaise Zambini?" McGonagal asked as she came over to Hermione's bed to check on her.

"Well Draco and I got over some of our issues, and last night he had some friends over. We all hung out and I made dinner and they're just really cool people, you know?"

"I am… astounded. I really thought you'd kill each other."

"And here I am saving his life."

"I suppose you are. Why don't you rest now? That potion must be wearing off by now."

"Yeah…" she mumbled, and McGonagal pulled the blanket up to cover her. She noticed Hermione was looking at Draco, concern etched into her features.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Hermione woke up to sunlight streaming through the windows and hushed voices next to her. She tried to roll over, but she felt like a semi-truck had run over her while she slept.

"Oh… I think she's awake," came Madame Pompfrey's voice. Hermione grumbled in response and finally rolled over. Before she could speak, Madame Pompfrey was all but forcing a potion down her throat. "This will help, dearie. I know you must be sore."

Hermione felt the soreness recede until it was only a dull ache. Then hunger hit her like a bomb going off.

"We'll get breakfast up here right away for you both," she said and hurried off when she heard the faint rumble from Hermione's stomach.

Hermione rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up. She hesitated to look over to where Draco was supposed to be, afraid that all her effort wouldn't have made a difference, but she met his silver grey eyes and thanked every God she could think of.

"Oh, thank you," she breathed. "Don't do that to me again."

"I'll try. I understand I owe you my life, Hermione. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

"Yes, it was. You're sore, all bruised up. You look like shit. And after all I've ever done to you, I'm told you didn't even hesitate. This is the most incredible thing anyone's ever done for me." He paused. "Why are you crying?"

"What?" she said and rubbed her face. Sure enough, there were tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh…"

Draco got up, wincing a little, and made his way over to her bed. He scooted her over before crawling under the covers and pulling her to him so her head rested on his chest. "Why are you crying?"

"I- I didn't want anyone else I know to die…" she said before she began to shake.

He rubbed her back then ran his hand over her hair. "Shh… Shh… It's okay. I'm here and I'm fine. You were incredible. I am so grateful, and I'm not going anywhere."

She cried herself out, and he kissed her forehead. "Better now?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'm sorry. You don't have to stay here. I don't think I'll cry anymore."

"But I'm comfy…"

She laughed, and Madame Pompfrey found them like that when she returned with breakfast. She moved the plates and drinks onto one table and wheeled it over to them. "I expect all of that food to be gone when I return, then the two of you should get some rest before visitors start showing up."

When she was gone, Draco whispered, "I think we blew her mind."

Hermione almost snorted her orange juice.

They both ate like they had been starved, then Draco laid down and pulled Hermione with him so she was curled up next to him. She only had a moment to think, 'This is so weird,' before she drifted off to sleep.

Draco woke as Hermione was trying to unwrap herself from his arms.

"Don't go," he said.

"I have to pee," was her response. "Plus, we have visitors coming."

He let her go and pulled himself up to a sitting position just in time to get attacked by Blaise."

"Oh, I thought you were a goner, mate."

"Get off me, you blubbering mess. I'm _fine._"

"I've never seen so much blood in my life. Hermione!" Blaise said when he saw her come out of the bathroom. He swept her up in a hug and kissed both of her cheeks. "Gods. That offer to marry me is still on the table. I'm almost at the point where I'd beg."

"Put me down, you dog. I'm sick as it is without thinking about marrying you."

He laughed and set her down, then took her hands again. "You're all bruised up."

Sure enough, a nasty, almost black, bruise took up most of her arm. "Oh…"

"You were hooked up to that thing for about an hour, I guess. Madame Pompfrey should be able to help with it."

Draco reached over and took her hand from Blaise. "I didn't realize how bad it was… I'm so sorry."

She was suddenly uncomfortable about the look in his eyes, and she stepped away from him. "It's not your fault you were stabbed, silly. Relax. Gods, how am I hungry again? What time is it?"

"It's almost dinner time," Blaise responded.

"We slept forever," she groaned.

"And you'll sleep more. One more night here and you should both be okay to go back to your dorm," Madame Pompfrey said from nowhere. "You have food coming up now, and I do recommend that you move back to your own bed, Mr. Malfoy. You both need room to stretch out."

She was gone again, and Blaise raised his eyebrows at them. "You are in her bed, aren't you? Did I miss something?"

"I was crying, and he decided he couldn't console me from his own damned bed. And then we fell asleep."

"Sure, sure."

Their food arrived, and Draco moved over to his own bed. "When you're done eating, I've had clothes brought up for you both. The shower's through there that you can use, okay?"

They both nodded, and she left them to eat. Midway through their meal, Harry, Ron, and Ginny came in.

"Are you okay? We heard you were here. What happened?" Harry asked.

"Draco hurt himself, lost a lot of blood. I'm a match to his blood type, so McGonagal asked me to help."

"So he's Draco now, hm?" Ron asked.

"Ron!" Harry scolded. "You promised to behave yourself!"

"Ah, I see," Hermione said to Harry. "You're okay with me making my own decisions, but no one else is."

"Look at him, Hermione! He has their mark right on his arm!"

She stood up. "That doesn't mean a damned thing, Ron, and you know it."

"His father killed your parents! How can you stand by him?"

"What?" came Draco's half-strangled whisper behind them.

She closed her eyes. "Ron, you're a fucking idiot, you know that right? He's a boy, for fuck's sake, not his father! You have no right, no right at all, to throw that in his face!"

"But-."

"Get out. All of you, get the fuck out of here."

Harry hesitated. "I'm sorry, Hermione. He promised…"

"Please, Harry, just _go._" He did, and she turned around. "Blaise, if you would, we need a few minutes alone."

He left, and Hermione sat on the edge of Draco's bed.

"My father…"

"Yeah. I never wanted you to find out, especially not like that."

"What happened?"

She took a deep breath. "Before I went off to hunt Voldemort, I erased my parents memories and set them up in a safe house in Wales. They were newlyweds with no kids and all the time in the world. I was waiting until we finished rounding up the more high profile Death Eaters, the ones we felt were really a danger, before I brought them home. Your father and a few others found the location of the safe house, killed the guards, and tortured my parents for information about the Order of the Phoenix or their daughter and her friends.

"But they didn't know anything. They didn't even know I existed.

"I hunted down every single one of them. I beat your father to within an inch of his life before the rest of my team arrived. They had to pull me off him and transport him to St. Mungo's before I killed him, then onto Azkaban."

"He deserved it," Draco said.

"I know. I'm not- I can't apologize for what I did, but you need to know that I don't blame you, not one damn bit, for what he did. I'm sorry Ron threw that in your face. He had no right."

"How can you be okay with this? How can you stand to be around me? How don't you hate me?"

"Because you're not your father. You told me, in our very first civil conversation, that you were never one of them. I believed you then, and I still feel that way."

"I don't deserve a friend like you."

"Well, you've got me. Deal with it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Are you okay now?" Hermione asked once her and Draco sat in silence for a minute.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Good. I'm going to go take that shower now. Finish eating your supper, alright?"

He nodded, and she gathered up her things from Madame Pompfrey before heading into the room with the showers. Draco decided to do the same since he had lost his appetite, and as he rounded the corner, a naked Hermione greeted him with her back turned to him.

"Good Gods, woman! Decency!" he laughed as he covered his eyes.

"You were supposed to be finishing your supper!" she said as she wrapped the towel that she had forgotten around herself. "There, I'm decent now. I had forgotten my towel. Sorry."

"No… I just keep walking in on you like that."

She sighed. "It happens."

"Was that a tattoo on your back?"

"What? Oh, yeah. You haven't noticed it before?"

"Your clothes always cover it. Can I see it?"

"Sure," she said and turned her back to him before letting her towel fall just enough to show the whole tattoo. The tattoo was the image of a woman in a flowing green dress with wild red hair. In one hand, she held a scroll, and in her other hand, there was a bow. A storm raged behind her, and if you looked closely, you could see two opposing armies battling it out. He reached out and ran a ringer over the bow. Hermione shivered at the contact.

"She's beautiful," he said.

"My guardian. I got her shortly after my parents died. I had the artist use my mother's image. He turned her into a Goddess."

"She really is magnificent," he said tracing the figures in the clouds.

"You should stop touching me like that," she half whispered.

"What?"

"You should stop touching me like that. You're still too injured for me to rape you."

He dropped his hand, stunned by her words. "I didn't know-."

"If you apologize to me again, I'll kill you. Now get in the shower. I can handle the frustration all on my own."

She closed the curtain behind her and said, "And not like that, you pervert."

He could only laugh.

* * *

The rumor mill was in full swing the week following the attack. Draco wasn't allowed to be alone since the attacker had not been caught. The ministry stepped in to conduct interviews with no success. Soon enough, the school forgot and began to brace for the long winter that was ahead of them.

Dumbledore wanted the two of them to work together and plan a Yule Ball to brighten up the winter months, and that took up the first two weeks of December.

"But we said silver as an accent, not gold," Hermione sighed.

"Damn, you're right. Perhaps we can make the lighting silver. Orb lights, the magical ones, in each of the corners and then- what did you call them- fairy lights? The fairy lights behind the fabric to add more light that way."

She thought for a minute. "That… that could actually be kind of wonderful. Then the full moon set up in the ceiling using that spell we found…"

"And fog on the floor to add to the atmosphere…"

"Draco, we're brilliant. We're done."

"God, I need a drink. Tomorrow's the trip to Hogsmead, then we hand in our designs to Dumbledore tomorrow night…"

"It won't be so bad. This plan is awesome, and the ball with be a lot of fun."

"I hope so."

* * *

Hermione carefully began to make the perfect snowball, unseen by the boys she was with. Draco, Blaise, and Alex were in a heated debate over Quidditch. Marcus was too busy checking out Alex's ass.

'I wonder if either of them realize that the other is gay,' she thought as she took aim. Her snowball hit Blaise right between the shoulder blades. He whirled around, but she was playing innocent.

"Did you see who threw that?" he asked.

"No," she said straight-faced, but Marcus blew it by bursting into a fit of giggles.

"Granger I'll kill you!" Blaise said and formed a snowball of his own.

"You'll have to catch me first!" she yelled as she ran off down the path into Hogsmead. She dodged his first snowball, and turned with one of hers just in time to have snow get down her shirt from his next one. "You jerk!" she yelled and threw another snowball at him. He ducked, and the snowball hit Draco square in the face. The snowball fight escalated until Hermione slipped on ice and landed butt first in a snow bank. Everyone was laughing too hard to continue.

"Alright, alright. Someone help me up," she said, laughing herself.

Blaise hoisted her up and over his shoulder making her squeak. "You can't be trusted to walk in this weather on your own feet. I'll protect you."

"Put me down!"

"Nope."

"But I have to get the snow off."

He casually brushed it off her butt himself making her squirm. "Better?"

She looked at Draco. "Help?"

He laughed harder. "Alright, Blaise. Hand her over."

Much to Hermione's horror, Blaise handed her over only so she could be carried the same way by Draco. She hung her head. "I quit," she said and allowed herself to be carried almost all the way into Hogsmead, marveling the entire way at how Draco's muscles rippled underneath his jacket.

The Three Broomsticks was a welcome warm haven for them after the walk from the school, and the gang stole the booth in the back with butterbeers on their way. The pub was filled with students chattering about the upcoming dance.

"So you guys really can't tell us anything about the dance? No small details?" Blaise asked.

"Nope, Dumbledore's orders," Draco replied. "We put a lot of time into the design, so I think it would be better if it was a surprise anyway."

"Fine… You have a date yet?"

"I think I'll be flying solo this time around."

"Too many girls, too little time?" Alex joked.

"Something like that. How about you guys?"

Hermione watched a look pass between Alex and Marcus. 'Ah, so they don't just know each other's gay. They're _together,_' she thought.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Marcus said.

"Good call," Alex agreed.

"I, however, have too many women to choose from. I'm secretly holding out for our little Hermione here, but alas, I don't think she cares."

"Oh, I care alright, just about my sanity and my dignity and how I'd have to lose them both if I entertained the thought of going out with you."

"Touché, my love, touché. Really, though, do you have a date?"

"No. I haven't been asked by anyone I really want to go with yet."

"Such a shame. A girl like you shouldn't be alone at a dance."

"Leaving my options open, I guess, or are only guys allowed to do that?"

"Nope, though 'too many men, too little time' does sound a little slutty."

"It's more like 'too many people, too little time.' I don't discriminate."

Blaise sputtered into his butterbeer. "Oh, dear, sweet Gods. You're bisexual?" She nodded and he dropped his head to the table. "She really is the perfect woman."

"And who's to say I'd let you watch, hm?"

"All things in time, dear heart."

"So it really doesn't bother you that I'm not straight?"

"Why would it? These two are gayer than a god damned rainbow, and we still hang out with them," Blaise said then turned to Alex and Marcus, who were staring with open mouths at Blaise. "Yes, boys, we _know._"

"Really?" Alex squeaked.

"Of course. You two keep casting longing looks at each other. It's a little obvious."

"No, I meant, you really don't care?"

"Why would we?" Blaise asked.

"Guys, you're our friends," Draco added. "We've known you for years, and we've been through so much together. I love you both like brothers, and I say this wholeheartedly- come out, come out, wherever you are."

Everyone laughed, and Hermione felt her heart warm as she looked at the man who said that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Of all nights, why did her hair have to choose this one to not cooperate? She had been struggling with it for 20 minutes, and finally resorted to magic to tame the last curl into submission. She did her make-up, simple eyeliner and pale rose lip gloss, before slipping into her dress. The second she zipped it up, she knew she made the right decision. The deep blue fabric was a sigh of chiffon that fell to her feet from the umpire waist. The bust was pleated and cupped her breasts like hands. The only ornament was a silver crescent moon pointing upwards right at the slight 'v' in the sweetheart neckline.

She adjusted her thigh highs and garter belt one final time before slipping into her metallic silver peep-toe pumps, and when she looked in the mirror to double check her appearance, even she had to admit she looked hot.

Draco looked up from his seat at the kitchen table when he heard her door open and close behind her and almost fainted. She was a vision, a Grecian Goddess come to life, and he couldn't help but imagine running his hand up the slit in her dress, seeing just how thin her stockings were…

"Are you ready to go?" she asked, bringing him out of his daydream.

"Yes, whenever you are."

They set out for the Great Hall, and she looked appreciatively at the way his black jacket hugged his well-defined body, the way the silver vest offset the black shirt he wore and clung in all the right places…

'Oh, I'm going to hell,' was her last thought before they descended the main staircase into a crowd of students waiting for the doors to open to the Hall. Dumbledore lead them inside, laying out the evens. "We'll be opening the doors in a minute, and once all the students have made their way in and are seated, I will give the opening speech. I'll want both of you up there with me while I do that. When I'm finished, you'll share the first dance, and the festivities can begin. Any questions?"

"Nope," they said together.

"Good. Then we can start letting students in…"

Once everyone was situated, Hermione and Draco took their places on either side of Dumbledore as he spoke. "I am so very proud of all of you, simply for being here today after all we have faced and lost. This is a night of celebration, not only to commemorate how far you've come, but to show you that there are still good things out there.

"I would like you to give a round of applause to your Head Girl and Head Boy, Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy, who- against all odds and all the differences between them- collaborated to give you this magnificent experience."

He paused while cheers erupted, then continued, "They will share the first dance of the evening, and then the festivities will begin. I hope you all enjoy yourselves this evening."

More applause came, and it slowly faded as a waltz began to play. Dumbledore stepped out of the way as Draco bowed to Hermione who accepted his outstretched hand. He spun her around the dance floor in a perfect waltz, looking nowhere except for her eyes. Her dress, flowing as it was, made the perfect complement as he spun her out and away from him before pulling her back into the dance. As the song came to a close, he dipped her low and finally saw that she was smiling as brightly as he was.

The students clapped as they righted themselves and the real music began. The dance floor was swarmed by people, and Hermione found herself swept up in Blaise's arms and laughing as he tried to mimic Draco's graceful movements.

"What can I say? Bastard's got class," was his response to her giggles.

Hermione found herself enjoying the party more than she had hoped. The food was great, the punch was spiked, and the music was actually impressive. She leaned against the wall, surveying the crows, and smiled at how happy they all seemed to be. The dance- for as much of a pain as it was- truly was a great idea.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Wallflower?" Draco asked as he leaned against the wall next to her.

Yeah. We did really good work, Draco. I didn't realize how much everyone needed this."

"I know. I hadn't realized how tense everyone was. I think I even saw McGonagal swaying to the music."

Hermione laughed at the image, and Draco put his arm around her shoulders. "You needed this too, yet I haven't seen you dance all that much. Come on, Granger. We'll show these young 'ns how it's really done."

"But… there's so many people."

"Are you afraid dancing with me will sully your reputation?"

"No, but people are already spreading rumors-."

"Then let them talk. Hermione, you're one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I don't care if we scream it from rooftops or publish it in the Prophet. I hate having to act like civil acquaintances."

She was speechless for a moment. "Draco… I didn't realize…"

"Well, now you know. So, how about it? Care to feed the rumor mill?"

"Why, certainly."

He lead her out to the dance floor just as Frank Sinatra's "Witchcraft" began to play. Draco smiled and was soon leading Hermione in a swing dance. She was laughing, breathless, and fiercely aware of all the eyes on them when the song ended and he dropped her into another dip.

"Where did you learn how to dance?" she asked as he pulled her back up onto her feet and they started dancing to the next song.

"My father gave me lessons on how to behave in 'polite society' from a very young age. I know at least 20 styles of dance, French, Spanish, German, and Japanese, as well as the customs of at least 10 different cultures."

"Well that's… fancy?"

He laughed. "I know. If it helps, I'm not perfect at any of those things, especially Japanese and German. Those languages are so difficult."

"Say something in French."

He thought for a second before saying, "Tu es la plus belle femme."

She smiled, "You could have just said something totally crude, and it would've sounded beautiful. Gods, that's such a pretty language."

"I know. It's my favorite by far."

"I know how to play some instruments, like the violin and piano. Those were my lessons growing up."

"I chose cello and piano as mine."

"You should play for me some time."

"No, _you _should play for _me _sometime. I already spoke French for you."

"Fine, fine. Maybe I will someday. It has been a while."

Blaise came over then with his date-of-the-hour. "You guys should hear what people are saying about you. Apparently, you caused quite a stir."

"Everyone's just jealous that Draco here dances like a God," Hermione responded.

"Well, they aren't really talking about him. You're the one who's attracting all the gossip, 'Mione. I mean, until this past year, you were the goody two shoes bookworm who never did anything wrong. Then you helped take down the Dark Lord, have a reputation as a Death Eater hunter, carry this bad ass attitude, and are currently dancing with the prodigal King of Slytherin. Everyone's confused."

"Let them be. I fought for equality, not separation. I fought so people like me- muggleborns- could dance with people like Draco- purebloods- without worrying about the social repercussions. If they have an issue, fuck them. My mission's accomplished."

Draco hugged her tightly to him. "Doesn't she just make you proud to know her? She's bloody brilliant."

"That she is," Blaise said and hugged her as well. "We're having an after party in the common room. You guys are more than welcome to come and join us."

"Not tonight," Hermione said. "I'm already getting tired."

"Party pooper. Draco?"

"Same here, mate. I have an extra credit I want to work on early tomorrow."

"Aw, both of you suck. Well, let's party until you two decide to bail."

And that they did. Hermione even spared a dance for Harry, who apologized profusely again for the way everything was playing out that year. Around 11:00, Draco decided it was time to duck out of the ball.

"You're still not supposed to travel alone around the school. I'll head out with you," Hermione said and stood from their table.

"No, I don't want to kill the rest of your night."

"Oh, relax. I'm exhausted, and these shoes are _killing _my feet," she countered and hugged everyone goodbye. "Come on, boy-o. Let's head off to bed."

They made their way up the main steps in silence, until Draco asked, "Did you mean what you said before? About the reasons why you fought?"

"Yeah. I know the anthem was 'Good to Triumph Evil,' but I fought to show that the dividing line between purebloods and everyone else was stupid. I was strong, smart, and definitely did not ask to be born this way, so why should I be discriminated against? I fought to show that blood status doesn't matter."

"That's incredible."

"I didn't mean it to be, I just couldn't sit by and do nothing."

"I know, that's part of the reason-."

His comment was cut off by a spell from behind making him drop to the ground. Hermione drew her wand and turned to face their attacker. She saw only a shock of red hair before a spell knocked her out as well.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So about me hating Ron and having terrible things happen to Hermione… I wasn't kidding….**

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter Eight**

She was hazy when she woke up, and panicked when she realized she was blindfolded and tied to a chair. Her training kicked in, and she calmed herself to assess the situation.

"She should be waking up soon…" she heard a familiar voice mutter.

'Ron… That son of a bitch,' she thought then remembered Draco. 'Oh… Gods...'

She must have moved a little, because Ron cleared his throat. "Ah, good, Hermione. I'm happy to have you back with us. Draco and I have been having a great conversation without you, about decency and proper etiquette."

She heard shuffling followed by a pained groan. "Don't you touch him again, you bastard!" she hissed.

Then she felt his open hand collide with her face, knocking the blindfold free and bringing stars to her eyes. "You do not tell me what to do, bitch. I got enough of that on the battle field."

"Wh-why are you doing this?"

"Don't you know? He's stealing you from us. I saw you laughing with him, laughing as his hands were all over you. He has no right to touch you like that, Hermione. I should be the only one allowed to touch you like that. I hoped that if I got rid of him, you would come rushing back to us."

"You were the one who tried to kill him."

"Of course. But you just had to step in and save the fucker's life. Isn't it funny, now, that a 'mudblood' as he calls you used her blood to save his life? Now his blood's just as muddy as yours, but I don't plan on letting you save him again."

He moved out of her line of sight, allowing her to see Draco who was bruised, bloody, and on the edge of consciousness across from her. Ron hit him again, hard enough to send him and the chair he was on to the floor.

"Let him go! You son of bitch! Let him go!"

"Or what? What can you possibly offer me?"

"You can take me. Just let him go, and you can do whatever you want with me."

She heard Draco moan in both pain and protest, then Ron laughed. "That's a great plan, actually, except I think I'll make him watch." He hoisted Draco and his chair upright. "Come on, Drakie boy, time to watch your girlfriend get fucked by another man."

Draco struggled against his restraints as Ron approached Hermione. He untied her hands, careful to keep a grip on her, and dragged her to the floor. He ran his hand up the slit in her dress using his other to hold her in place. In one fast movement, he tore her underwear off. He made a mistake, however, when he let his grip slip as he reached for his pants. It was the opportunity she had waited for.

She yanked her arms free, knocking him off balance, and brought her legs up to kick him in the chest. She stood up quickly and kicked him again, square between the legs, and searched for her wand while he squirmed in pain. She located it on the table behind him, and turned with it in her hands just in time to come face to face with him.

She stabbed her wand deeper into his neck, and he raised his hands in surrender. "You will go to Azkaban for this, you bastard, I swear it. Petrificus Totalus!"

He dropped to the ground like a rock, and she rushed over to Draco.

"Oh, Gods, Draco? Can you hear me?" He nodded, keeping his eyes pressed tightly together as she untied him. "Can you open your eyes?"

"I don't want to see what he did to you," he whispered.

"Draco, I'm fine. He didn't… he didn't get far. Please, look at me. I need to know you're okay."

When the restraints dropped from his wrists, he slowly opened his eyes. "Hermione…" he said and threw his arms around her. "Gods, you're an idiot! Offering yourself up like that! Do you know what I would've done if he had-. Why did you do something so stupid?"

"I was thinking he's an idiot and I could easily get the upper hand the second he slipped up. Besides… I couldn't let you get hurt anymore because of me. Now, come on. I see the door over there. I'll take care of him."

She used the Levicorpus spell and trailed him behind them as they made their way out of the abandoned classroom on what looked like the third floor right down the hall from Dumbledore's office. She said the password and went up behind Malfoy. Ron had come to and was making a fuss as they waiting for the headmaster to allow them entrance.

"What's all this? What happened?" McGonagal, who was in her nightdress, asked.

"We've found the person who tried to kill me," Draco said. "You can add two counts of assault, kidnapping, and one attempted rape to that list of charges as well."

"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked.

"I would've brought my shredded underwear, but I figured leaving all the evidence untouched in the classroom down the hall would be a bit smarter."

"Dear God…" McGonagal breathed.

Dumbledore turned to his portrait of the Minister of Magic, "Get some help here, would you please? We found the culprit behind the attack on young Mr. Malfoy."

"This isn't fair!" Ron yelled. "That little slut begged for it! And him! He ruined everything!"

Hermione released the spell and let him fall the ten feet to the stone floor. "So sorry. I was distracted by all the bull shit in the air."

* * *

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Draco said from his bed in the Hospital Wing. "You're exhausted."

"I don't want to leave you alone," Hermione responded.

"This wasn't your fault. Weasley just… snapped. I'd feel better if you got some rest."

"Alright," the girl said and grabbed the blanket off the empty bed behind her. She wrapped it around herself and snuggled back into the chair she had been sitting in.

"Hermione-."

"Oh shut up. I'm not leaving you, Draco."

She didn't see him blush at her words as he responded, "Well, at least come up here then."

"No, you're hurt. Madame Pompfrey said you wouldn't be healed until tomorrow."

"Just come here. I'm well enough to share a bed."

She sighed and crawled under the covers with him. "At least let me hold you."

He scooted down the bed a little and she put her arm around him. He rested his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat, as she ran her hand through his hair.

"I don't know what I would have done if he had actually succeeded in hurting you," he whispered. "I don't think I could've forgiven myself."

"And I don't think I could've forgiven myself if I hadn't tried everything I could to stop him."

"I'm so very happy I was forced to share a dorm with you, Granger. I don't know if I would've made it through this year otherwise. I really didn't want to stay," his sleep slurred words came quietly to her.

"I'm really glad you did. The dorm would've been so empty without you and the friends you brought with you… I'm pretty sure my heart would've been too."

She waited for a response with her breath held tight in her chest and was greeted by a light snore. She laughed quietly before settling in to go to sleep herself.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the wait, I lost the groove there for a bit. Here you go 3 **

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter Nine**

"So what are you doing over the holidays? Any plans?" Draco asked Hermione as they brought their bags down to the carriages that would take them to the Hogwarts Express.

"I have a lot of stuff to do at my house to prepare it to be sold. I'm not really sure about anything else. It's my first holiday without my parents, and if I go to the Weasley's… well, that would be more awkward than words can describe."

"Do you need help with anything? I know how daunting the task is to go through all your parents' things."

"No. I think I'll be okay."

He took her hand and waited until she looked at him. "Hermione, I need you to promise me that if you need my help, or if you just need someone to be there for you, or- hell- if you need someone to help get you out of the house for a few hours, that you'll call me. And I want you to spend Christmas Eve at my house. I'm having the guys over and a few others, and I would love to have you there as well."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother to you."

"After everything you've done for me, the least I can do is offer you a hand. And Christmas Eve? Well, you're my friend. It would just be nice to have you there."

"Okay, I will. And… thanks, Draco. It means a lot to me."

* * *

She dropped her bags on the living room floor as she entered the unlived in house that had once belonged to her loving family. A thin layer of dust coated every surface, and the air was stagnant from being unmoved for the last few months. She told the Order that her house was now off limits. They had- apparently- respected her wishes.

She shook herself out of her reverie, and turned the thermostat up. It was the middle of winter, and she didn't quite feel like freezing to death when there was so much left to do. She was happy to see that her phone and electricity and all of that was working. The bank must have kept up with the automatic payments; she hadn't checked to make sure.

She found some tea in the cupboard and put a kettle on the stove. As she took her first sip, her shoulders sagged and she allowed the tears to flow. She would start her work… tomorrow.

And that she did. She was elbow deep in bathroom cleaner when she heard the owl tap on her window. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she stood and opened the window to let the owl in. The cold breeze livened her up, and she saw the letter was from Draco.

_Hermione-_

_Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I was wondering if you would like to hang out earlier in the day to grab some last minute presents and everything we need for dinner. Let me know by tonight.  
-Draco_

She found a pen, scribbled back an 'okay,' and sent the owl back on its way before scrubbing the rest of the floor. She finished the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, and the dining room before the response from Draco arrived back.

_Why don't you come over tonight? We can set out earlier for shopping, and you could help me finish decorating the tree. You can apparate over if it's a yes, or write me back if you had other plans for this evening.  
-Draco_

She argued with herself for all of five minutes before putting away her cleaning supplies, hopping in the shower, and packing her sleepover bag. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of the Malfoy Manor, in all of its splendor. She gathered up the nerve to knock, and (quick as a flash) Draco opened the door to let her in.

"Oh, good, you decided to come over. The others won't be able to make it until tomorrow, so I hope you don't mind sharing the house with just me tonight. I promise I won't bite."

She laughed. "I'll be fine so long as you let me in. It's pretty damn cold out here."

"Oh, sorry!" he said and stepped aside to let her in. If the outside had amazed her, the inside left her breathless. The floor and columns that lined the entry way were made of white marble with deep black veins. The walls were a smoky grey and offset only by assorted vases and sculptures.

"Wow…" she breathed.

"I know. It's ostentatious isn't it? I want to renovate over the summer. I was going to sell the place, but it's been my family home for a very long time… I can't just toss that away."

"I understand. It's your history."

"Exactly. Can I take you bag? I'll show you up to your room…"

"I can carry this, so don't worry about that."

He sighed, knowing better than to argue, and led her up the main staircase that dominated the entryway. There were paintings lining the upstairs hallway of people with the same platinum blonde hair and aristocratic features as Draco. He noticed her looking at them and confirmed her suspicions that they were his relatives. The room he said would be hers was better than anything she could imagine. A king sized, four poster bed took up most of one wall, its deep violet drapes pooling at the floor. The bedding was black silk, and she had her own bathroom attached to the room.

"Gods, Draco, this is the most amazing room I've ever seen. It's so beautiful."

"I'm really happy you like it. My room is right across the hall and down one door. Would you want to go out and grab dinner or order in? I don't really have anything in my kitchen…"

"I don't really mind either option."

"Well, we'll go out then. I don't really want to be in the house anymore."

"Okay. What are you in the mood for?"

"I know a good place. Do you… do you have something kind of fancy to put on? Not that you don't look nice, the place just has a dress code…"

She laughed at his discomfort. "Yes, Draco, I know what you meant. I brought some nicer clothes with me as well, so I'll get changed and freshened up a bit before we leave."

"Okay. I really didn't mean anythi-."

"I know, Draco, I know. When did you want to go?"

He blushed. "Soon, if you don't mind. I'm pretty hungry."

"Same here. Okay, just let me get changed and I'll be ready to go."

"Okay. There's a sitting room to the left of the entrance hall. If you finish before I do, you can wait in there so you're comfortable, alright?"

"Sounds good. I'll meet you down there."

He closed the door behind him as he left, and she all but melted onto the bed. This would be one hell of a vacation for her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Draco waited in the sitting room while Hermione finished getting ready, telling himself over and over again to keep his cool. She was just a girl, right? So what if her smile made his knees weak; he just cared for her, is all. Nothing serious.

His mantra was interrupted by the sound of heels on the marble steps leading to the foyer. He went out to meet her and forgot every damned thing he had told himself about playing it cool. Her hair fell in perfect ringlets, framing and emphasizing the honey gold of her eyes. She wore only a clear lip gloss as makeup that brought out the natural rose of her lips. The black wrap dress revealed just enough to have him deathly curious about what it was hiding-.

"Draco? Is it too fancy? I can go change…"

"What? No! You just look lovely, is all. Are you ready to go now?"

"Yeah, whenever you are."

He led her out to the garage and she laughed. "Three cars? Jesus, Draco, really?"

"Of course. I have an SUV for heavy driving, a practical four door sedan, and a sexy sports car. I wanted all my bases covered."

"When did you learn to drive?"

"When I was fifteen. My father was furious, but with him gone I was able to indulge in this little passion of mine."

She walked down the line of cars until she reached the 'sexy sports car-' as he so eloquently put it- and almost fainted.

"A Maserati? Seriously?"

"I couldn't resist. I was testing cars all day and when I got behind the wheel of this one… I had to have it. I rarely ignore the urge to possess things I want."

She ignored the heat she suddenly felt by examining the car closer. "She is lovely. How much did it cost you? No, wait. I don't want to know. I think the number would break my heart."

"You're probably right. If I had thought about it for more than five minutes, I don't think I would've gotten it. Since you like her so much, we can take her into town. It hasn't snowed yet so we should be fine. "

"Really? That's wonderful," she beamed.

"You're adorable," he said and opened the door for her to get in. "Don't forget your seatbelt."

Soon they were speeding along the back roads, creeping towards London at an almost impossible speed by Hermione's way of thinking. The restaurant they ended up in front of had a French name Hermione didn't feel like trying to pronounce. The valet, bundled against the biting cold, looked like it was Christmas when Draco handed him the keys. The host greeted them warmly, Draco by his surname, and led them to what must have been the best table in the house.

"Here we are. Shall I bring out the usual wine, sir? Or would the lady like something different?"

"No, monsieur. The usual will be just perfect." When the man left, Draco returned his attention to Hermione and said, "I ordered a nice white that actually goes with just about everything on their menu. I hope that's alright. I honestly wasn't thinking."

"No, that's fine. I'll trust your judgment here."

"Then may I recommend the tasting meal? I think I'll be getting it myself, it's so good. It takes you on a tour of the whole menu so you don't have to choose."

"That sounds great as well."

When the server came around with the bottle of wine, Draco ordered their meals and the young man disappeared again.

"So how's the wine?" Draco asked Hermione who was busy marveling at the bit of skin that was showing where he hadn't buttoned the top of his shirt, wondering just how good it would taste…

"The wine, do you like it?"

"What? Oh, yes. Sorry. I was woolgathering a bit just then. It's a lovely choice."

"I'm glad you like it. So… what's your favorite color?"

"Well that's random."

"Not really. I know a lot of big things about you, but none of the small things. It's all in the details, afterall."

"Alright. Well, you can ask away I guess. My favorite color is purple. If you mixed the color of my bedding from Hogwarts with the one in the room you're letting me use, that would just about perfect. How about you?"

"The blue they used for my bed at Hogwarts is probably perfect. I don't know how they do it."

"It's Dumbledore. Are you seriously going to question it?"

"Touché. So what are your plans for after school?"

"I've already been accepted into the Auror program. I start training two weeks after we graduate. You?"

"I was looking into the Auror program, but I have to face the fact that they may not let me in because of everything that happened."

"That's stupid. You did nothing wrong."

"You know that, and I know that, but they don't care. They just see the mark on my arm. If that falls through, though, I'd like to become a teacher."

"Really?"

"I read just about as much as you, Miss Granger."

"No, I didn't mean that and you know it. I just can't picture you standing in front of a room full of your students without cursing them all to oblivion."

"I actually really like kids. I've been mentoring the younger Slytherins since the start of the year, helping them get used to Hogwarts post-war."

"That's amazing, Draco. I mean that. You're the perfect role model for them."

"I hope so."

Hermione covered his hand with hers. "Trust me, you are. You've overcome so much. You should be proud of yourself and those kids are lucky to have a mentor who has seen both sides of the war. They need that."

He held her hand and rand his thumb over her knuckles. "How are you so damn positive, 'Mione? I still don't understand how you can see past all the bad stuff I've done."

"Well, it's simple. I love-." She cut herself off and took a breath. "I love seeing how far you've come. That's what matters. You're not the pratt whose nose I bloodied way back when. Trust me, I'm not a positive person. You just bring out the best in me."

He squeezed her hand, but the waiter arriving with their first course cut off his comment. The rest of the conversation avoided deep subjects, and by the time dessert arrived, Hermione's near confession was forgotten.

"Let's go out somewhere, to a club or a bar or something. I don't want to go home yet," Draco said after he settled the bill.

"I know a place not far from here. Music's good, booze is cheap, and there's a dance floor."

"Sounds perfect to me."

And it was. The club they pulled up to had bass heavy music pouring out of the doors and a bouncer guarding the door. Hermione bypassed the line and walked right up to him saying, "Karl! Long time no see babe!"

"Hey baby girl!" the wall of man said as he scooped her up in a hug. "How've you been? Here to party? And who's this bloke?"

"I've been fine, getting better you know? This is my friend Draco, he's fairly awesome and he's here to party too so be nice."

"Only for you," he said and kissed her forehead. "Okay. Head on in."

She gave him a parting smile, and they made their way to the bar. "Shit," she said. "Harry and a few others are here. This is going to be awkward."

Lupin was the first to notice her, and he hugged her when he came over. "How are you, 'Mione? I've been worried about you. Will we see you for the holiday?"

"Hey, Remus. I've been alright. Got a lot accomplished with the house and everything. I'm staying with Draco for the holiday."

"Well, that's good. And how are you, Draco? Enjoying the holiday?"

"So far, yeah," Draco responded, slightly shocked at being addressed. "We're having a dinner tomorrow night. You should stop by. I know we'll have more food than necessary."

"Maybe I will, bring over Hermione's presents and what not. Probably only for dessert though. Molly- Mrs. Weasley, that is- would kill me if I missed the actual dinner."

"Well, we'll see you there then. Say around 7:00 or so?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then. Enjoy your night, both of you," the ex-professor said with a smile before returning to his little group.

"How on earth did you manage that?"

"Skill. That's all," he said and smiled at her. "Besides, you deserve to have as many people around you that actually care about you as possible. Now, let's dance, alright? I like this song."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Hermione's hangover wasn't nearly as bad as she had expected, but the cold shower she took still didn't erase all the pain. She wrapped a towel around herself and began to hunt for the aspirin she knew she had packed. There was a knock on the door, and she gave permission to enter after making sure that she was all covered up.

"Oh… I didn't realize you were getting dressed… I can come back…" a flustered Draco said while covering his eyes with his hand.

"No, it's fine. I'm all covered. What's up?"

"I was honestly just checking to make sure you were awake. We have a lot of stuff to do today."

"Yeah. I just need to get dressed and I'll be good to go. What time was everyone planning on showing up here?"

"Around five o'clock or so. We had dinner planned for around six."

"Alright. It's ten now… Plenty of time if we don't dawdle with our shopping. Alright. I'll be down in like two minutes."

"Okay. I'll meet you down there."

He closed the door and rested his head against the frame. She was going to be the death of him.

He thought that again when she made her way down in skinny jeans tucked into boots and a plain, formfitting baby doll t-shirt. How on earth was she able to bring out so many reactions from him?

"Are we driving or apparating today?"

"Driving. We're taking the SUV, though. It snowed overnight."

He watched a series of emotions wash across her face that included surprise, delight, and pure, unadulterated joy before she gave up on buttoning her coat and ran over to the front window.

"Oh… Wow…" she breathed, fogging up the glass. "I love the snow," she added when he came to stand next to her.

"Well, we can make play in it later or tomorrow depending on how today works out. I do love snow angels…"

"Really?" she asked, not making fun of him, simply hoping he was serious.

"Of course."

She hugged him. "You're wonderful, Draco."

He just smiled and thought, 'I really think I love this girl. Shit.'

* * *

Blaise was the first to show up, and he found the two of them practically covered in flour, arguing about whose fault it was.

"Damn it, Draco! I'm going to go get changed. You can clean this up yourself! Oh, hi, Blaise. If you help him, I swear I'll kill you. Happy Christmas, though," she said with a smile and made her way out of the kitchen.

Blaise could only laugh. "Dear Gods, Draco, what did you do? This had to be your fault."

"It was, but if you tell her that, I swear to God, I'll be the one to kill you. She's mad enough as it is."

"What happened?"

"I burned her cookies, then knocked over the flour when we were cleaning up…"

"Damn, mate, you're lucky you're still breathing. So, I left the gifts under the tree, as usual. Is there anything else I can help with? Besides the cleaning of course. I like my head attached."

Draco laughed this time. "No, I think I have this covered, and the table upstairs is already set…"

He said the necessary cleaning spells and Hermione returned just a few minutes later.

"Well, don't you look amazing, Miss Granger," Blaise said with a wolf whistle when he saw her.

"Thank you. You're not half bad yourself, darling. Does this really look good, though? It was a spur of the moment purchase for myself today…"

The coppery brown sweater dress buttoned down the front, hugging every single curve she had, Blaise noted as he took the opportunity to look her over. "You look amazing, honestly. It was a good choice."

"Thanks. I'm glad someone's on my side today," she joked, tossing a glare at Draco.

"Oh, come on. I cleaned up, didn't I?"

"Well, there wouldn't have been all that mess to clean up if someone didn't make it in the first place. But oh well. Go get changed, Draco. I'll get the food ready."

"Thanks, 'Mione."

He made his way out of the room, and Hermione pulled on the oven mitts she would need to get the food out of the oven.

"So when are you going to tell him that you're head over heels in love with him?" Blaise asked, and Hermione almost dropped the ham she was carrying.

"What?"

"Oh, come off it, Hermione. I can tell these sorts of things. You're crazy for him. For that matter, he's crazy about you, but he's dense when it comes to that sort of thing."

"There's no way he likes me."

"But you admit you like him?"

"Blaise, you don't understand. I'm not… I'm not good for him."

"But you like him?"

"Of course I bloody like him! How can I not? He's a fucking angel. He's perfect. When he smiles, I can't breathe. When he gets that sad, faraway look in his eyes, I love him all the more-."

She stopped, reaching a hand out to steady herself. "Oh Gods… I love him…" Blaise watched as she crumbled against the counter and had her in his arms in a second. "I can't love him. I can't. Why should I put him through that? I'm broken. I'm a terrible person. He deserves better than me…"

"Shh… Shh… You're wrong, Hermione. There's nothing wrong with you. You both deserve to be happy, and I think you can help each other in that department."

"But-."

"Hush." He held her away from him and brushed the tears from her face. "You deserve to be happy, Hermione. No arguing. Come on. We have a dinner to finish preparing for. I just wanted you to think about this, alright?"

She nodded, and they managed to get all the food up to the dining room as the rest of the guests arrived. Throughout dinner, she tried to block out the conversation she had with Blaise, but it was proving to be more difficult than she had imagined. She refused to believe that Draco could love someone like her. It just made no sense.

But what if…?

She banished the thought and began helping to clear the table of the dinner dishes.

"No, Hermione, you brought everything out," Draco said. "Go join the others by the tree."

He touched her arm, and she flinched away before turning beet red. "O-of course. I'll see if anyone wants tea…"

She was gone before he could question her, but he turned to Blaise who had stuck around and asked the same question he wanted to ask her. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, mate. She's just going through a lot of stuff right now."

"She's been talking to you about her problems?"

"Relax. You're not her only friend in the entire world."

"I know… I know… I'm just so worried about her. She has so much going on with her family's house and her friends and the Ron situation…"

"I really think you're the best person to be there for her at the moment. She just needs people around who let her know she's cared for, alright?"

"Yeah…"

Whatever else he was about to say was cut off by a knock on the front door.

"I'll get it!" Hermione called.

Then all hell broke loose.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Draco and Blaise dropped the plates they were holding as soon as they heard the first shouts. They ran into the entrance hall to see Hermione fending off a handful of Death Eaters, and joined in immediately.

"Stay out of this, Draco!" yelled one of the Death Eaters. "We're here for her, not you!"

"Like hell! You're the ones who barged into my house!"

They fought them off for a few minutes more until Blaise, then Draco, were hit with a body-bind charm. Draco saw the rest of his friends out of the corner of his eye, huddled next to the Christmas tree in the living room with a Death Eater standing guard over them. His attention was drawn back to Hermione as she was disarmed and forced to her knees by two of the Death Eaters. Another stepped forward from the crowd, and he knew who it was before he even lifted his mask.

"Hello, Miss Granger. How lovely to see you again."

"Really, Lucius? Because the last time I saw you, you were on your knees beg-."

He backhanded her before she could finish her sentence. "You are a lying little bitch, and you know it."

"I'm pretty sure I couldn't forget the sound of your pleas if I tried." She laughed as he hit her again. The third time, she spit the blood that pooled in her mouth into his face. "I'm really getting sick of being hit. Can you get on with whatever it was that you had planned? I'm getting bored."

"You little bitch!" he fumed and, after scrubbing her blood from his face, motioned for the Death Eaters who were holding her in place to move. He pulled out the wand he was using. "Crucio!"

Draco looked on in amazement as all the girl did was tense her muscles. When the curse lifted, she smiled at Lucius. "Come on, boy-o. You're supposed to really hate me!"

"Crucio!" he yelled louder.

When the curse lifted this time, she released the breath she had held. "What was that? I know you can do better!"

"Crucio! Crucio! You fucking bitch! Crucio!"

She dropped onto her hands, panting. "There you go. That's a bit better. I think I felt it that time."

Lucius grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to her feet. "Do you think this is funny? Do you?"

"Yes, actually. I know how much it must be killing you to not be getting the reactions from me that you hoped to see. I take great pleasure in knowing that I'm fucking up your evening."

He punched her hard enough that she fell back down to the ground. "Then I'll make sure to ruin you properly. Your friends won't be able to recognize your pretty little face once I'm done with you and they come to collect your body."

She laughed again, rolling over onto her back so she could breathe better. "About my friends, you see, your charming son was kind enough to invite some of them over for dessert today. The way I figure it, they'll be here in, oh, 15 seconds or so, and you and your little friends will be shit out of luck."

Panic flashed across Lucius' face, and he grabbed the nearest Death Eater. "You told me it was just the children tonight! You told me that it would be the perfect time to attack!"

"I-I didn't know! I didn't know!"

The doors flew open right on cue, revealing Remus, Harry, and Sirius, wands at the ready. Less than a minute later, all the Death Eaters (excluding Lucius of course) were on their knees with their wands surrendered.

"What are you doing?" Lucius yelled. "Get up! Get up, all of you! You swore your allegiance to me! I helped you escape from Azkaban so you could help me kill that little bitch!"

"It's over, Lucius," Hermione said as she pulled herself up to her feet. "Please, just surrender yourself. We all would prefer to get back to our holiday."

He all but gaped at her before sputtering, "You-you did this! This is your fault! If-if it wasn't for you-." He raised his wand. "Avada-!"

"Expelliarmus!"

His wand flew across the room, and he met Draco's eyes. "Son…"

"I'm no son of yours. Petrificus totalus!"

Lucius dropped to the ground like a stone, and the Order members began to detain the rest of the Death Eaters. Someone had the idea to page the minister before bursting in, and he arrived with a team of aurors to help get everything straightened out. Hermione helped Harry make sure the other guests we unharmed, and Draco and Blaise gave their accounts of what happened to one of the Aurors. Once the intruders were removed, Harry hugged Hermione.

"I was so worried about you, 'Mione."

"I know. I've dealt with worse pain than that, though. You should know."

He gave her a sad look, "Yeah. You were really brave, from what I understand. Stupid, but brave."

"Me? Stupid? Never. I knew exactly what I was doing."

"Of course you did," he replied and ruffled her hair. "Are you sure you're okay? Your face looks pretty bad…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's pretty sore, and my bones are still a little shaky from the curses, but I'll be alright after I sleep it off."

"Good."

She was swept up in a hug from Remus, then one from Sirius.

"Is what the boys say true? You laughed at him?" Remus asked.

"I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't let him see me suffer."

"You, my dear Miss Granger, are a bad-ass," Sirius joked and punched her playfully on the shoulder.

"Thanks, guys. It really-."

"Wasn't anything," the three of them finished for her.

"You have to get over this whole modesty thing, 'Mione. That was incredible, what you did," Harry said. "Now, why don't you go make sure that Draco's alright?"

Her face fell. "Yeah… I should… I should do that…"

She walked over to where he was standing with Blaise and his other friends. Draco, in true British fashion, was pouring everyone tea. He couldn't meet her eyes.

"Hey. Is everyone alright?" she asked, mostly to hide the hurt she felt suddenly.

"You're asking us if we're alright?" the one girl- Amanda, if Hermione remembered correctly- asked. "You're the one who got beat up."

"Naw. It's nothing. I'll be good as new in the morning."

They chatted for a few minutes, then slowly everyone began to leave. Hermione made sure they all had their presents and some desserts to take with them.

"I think we're going to head home as well," Remus said. "The desserts were fantastic, by the way. I'm really glad that you invited us, Draco.

"I am too, especially since, you know, you saved our asses."

"Anytime," he replied and laughed.

"Draco, Blaise… I really think Hermione made a good call when she decided to become friends with you guys. I'm glad we're able to get past all of that stuff," Harry said, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

Draco and Blaise exchanged looks.

"I feel like we should still make him suffer," Blaise said.

"He _was_ a prat," Draco agreed.

"You weren't really any better, mate," Harry replied.

"Touché."

The three boys smiled and shook hands. Harry, Remus, and Sirius apparated away, leaving the three remaining people to clean up.

"Hermione, why don't you sit out? Draco and I can finish this up."

"I'm fine, honestly. I don't know why everyone's making such a fuss about it."

"Because you could've died!" Draco exploded with the first words he'd spoken to her since the fight ended. "You almost died, Hermione, and you're acting like it's no big deal! You act like it wouldn't matter if you died!"

"Draco… I faced this kind of stuff all the time. I'm used to it at this point, I guess. I-I'm sorry I brought it here, to your home. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Now-now you're _apologizing?_ Hermione… fucking hell." He cleared the space between them in two strides and grabbed her by the upper arms. "Don't you ever, _ever,_ make it seem like your life isn't worth anything! I'm sick of seeing it happen. Hurting yourself to save me, sacrificing yourself to save me- Fuck, Hermione, I'm supposed to be the one protecting you! Not the other way around!"

"Why on earth would you think that?" she demanded, anger clouding her thoughts.

"Because- Damn it! Because I love you, alright?"

And then he kissed her.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N.: So this was a hard chapter to write, but I powered through and edited and re-edited until it flowed as best as I think I can make it. I know the middle is a bit rough, and I apologize, but I really just can't quite figure out how to smooth it out. I hope you can enjoy it, and be prepared, this is the turning point. **

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Draco wasn't entirely sure what he had expected when he kissed Hermione, but it certainly wasn't her shoving him away and apparating out of his house.

"Fuck," was all he could think to say.

"She just needs time, mate. Relax," Blaise said and clapped him on his shoulder. "I told you she was going through a lot right now…"

"I-I was just so mad. She thinks… she honestly thinks that she doesn't matter. What the fuck is that shit? Where does that come from?"

"She's been through a whole lot of bad things in the past few years. She's gone through a war on the bad side of things, lost her family, and has to juggle her survivors guilt with her desire to enjoy the life she fought to save. She's just lost."

"I just want to help her."

"I know that, and I think- somewhere deep down- she knows that too. She's just used to people abandoning her when she needs their help. She's shoving you away, but I think she's about to hit rock bottom. When that happens, she'll come back."

"So you just want me to let her fall? What if she breaks this time? What then?"

"You pick up the pieces, as gently as possible, and help to put them back together."

When Hermione stumbled out of the apparition into the living room of her house, she was hyperventilating. How could she have been so stupid? Allowing Draco to fall for her…

"Fuck!" she all but screamed before falling to the ground in tears. He couldn't love her. He was delusional. He had to be delusional. There was no other explanation that she could come up with.

She wasn't sure how long she laid there, crying until her already sore face ached with the pain, before she dragged herself up and went into the kitchen in search of the stash of alcohol the order had kept for those meetings that were particularly uncomfortable. She found a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey tucked in the freezer. She took the first shot straight from the bottle, enjoying a moment of masochism as the liquid burned her throat and stomach, before taking a second shot, finding a glass, and situating herself on the couch in her living room.

She wasn't sure how long she had slept, nor how many days had passed. She was vaguely aware that she hadn't slept in at least 48 hours since returning to her house, but after 3 bottles of whiskey and various other drinks and pills she had found, she passed out. The dreams that came to her while she was asleep had been horrific, the last one nothing but blood and curses and kisses…

"Fuck…" she cursed as she tried to sit up and the room spun around her. The sunlight bounced off the glass coffee table and the glass bottles making a rainbow of light that hurt her eyes when she tried to open them. How drunk had she gotten? She made her way to the kitchen to find water to _hopefully_ erase the old sock taste in her mouth, and barely made it to the sink before she threw up. "Fuck…" she cursed again. Why had she been so stupid?

Then she remembered. "That's right. The fucker kissed me."

The words physically stuck in her throat, and she threw up again from the (purely psychological, of course) sensation.

She managed to make her way up to the bathroom to use the shower since she was almost sure she was done being sick. The water was almost too hot for her to bear, but she slowly felt it relax her muscles. Her headache was almost gone before she felt the familiar tightening in her chest. The first sob shook her to her core. The second, well, she thought she was going to die. She collapsed to the floor of her shower, curled up in a ball, and let the sobs shake her.

How could anyone care about her? She was worthless, broken, good for nothing. She was damaged goods, right? How could someone see past that? Especially someone like Draco Malfoy, with all his money and looks and charm? How could she compete with the other women out there who were totally normal?

She couldn't, of course. She had known that all along. She knew she was stupid for developing feelings for him.

She pulled herself off the floor and shut the water off. She stepped out in front of the mirror and tried to see herself as Draco apparently saw her. Even her looks were imperfect: her breasts just weren't big enough, her cheek bones weren't prominent enough, her eyes were simply brown. There was nothing amazing about her, and surely someone like Draco Malfoy needed someone who was amazing. She couldn't be what he needed.

She punched the mirror, shattering the glass and cutting open her hand. She pushed herself back against the wall so she was away from the shattered glass and sank back to the floor.

"Fuck."

And she cried some more.

The day before New Year's Eve, Draco was reading one of the books his friends had gotten him for Christmas. He was pleasantly warm, the couch he was sitting on was comfortable, but he had read the same sentence five times. He simply couldn't concentrate despite the perfect atmosphere. He couldn't stop thinking about her. It had been days since he had seen or heard from her, and all attempts to send her a message had failed. Even his inquiries to Lupin and Harry brought nothing to light. They told him that she just needed some time, just like everyone kept telling him. She had dropped off the face of the planet, but he was the only one who seemed to care.

There was a knock on his door, and he figured it was simply Blaise stopping by to check on him like he had been doing every single day since Christmas Eve.

"Yeah, mate?" he said as he threw open the door, but stopped dead when he saw Hermione standing there. Her hair was knotted and a mess, her clothes were disheveled, her coat was unbuttoned, and she had a bandage wrapped around her hand. "Hermione…"

"I don't understand," she said as she pushed past him into the house. "I don't understand where you got the brilliant idea that kissing me would be a good idea. I don't understand how that thought even came to cross your mind."

"I care for you, Hermione-."

"I don't understand that either. How can you care for someone like me? There has to be something wrong with you in order for you to think that I'm something special. I can't handle someone who's fucked up in the head like that. I don't need that in my life."

"Fucked up in the head? No, Hermione, I really care about you. You're amazing, the greatest woman I've ever met-."

"I don't get it, Draco! I don't know how you can see me like that! I don't deserve it! I don't deserve you!"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. "Shut the fuck up, Hermione! I won't sit here and listen to you talk this way! I won't! You've suffered a lot, you have your scars, but you aren't the only one! You're not alone in this, Hermione. You've fared better than most, better than me. You're beautiful and smart and so fucking strong! I can't listen to you degrade yourself, not when I love you as much as I do. I can't handle it, Hermione. I can't."

She stared at him with the most frightened expression he had ever seen. He thought he had hurt her until she spoke. "You… you said you loved me."

"I do, Hermione. I really, really do."

"How, Draco? How is that possible?"

"I don't know, Hermione. I just realized one day that I couldn't stop thinking about you. I want to heal whatever's broken inside of you because you don't deserve to feel this way. I want to protect you from all the monsters out there. I want to love you, Hermione, because you deserve it."

He let go of her shoulders and cupped her cheek in his hand. "I mean every single word of it, Hermione. I love you, so much that it was beginning to hurt to keep it inside. I can't really explain why, I just… I just do."

"… I love you too, Draco. Please… Please make the pain go away. Make it stop."

When the tears came this time, she wasn't alone. He held her until they slowed, until they stopped, and then for a long time afterward, curled up on the cold marble floor. Even when she slept, he held her, thanking whatever Gods were out there that they brought her back to him.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I wanted to give a shout out to hpdanrad, a wonderful individual who's review reminded me that I've really been shirking my duties as a fanfiction writer. I want to give you the big ramble about how university sucks and I'm so busy I want to curl up in a ball and cry… Instead, I'm going to write the emotional chapter I've been avoiding simple because it is so emotional. Or I think it's going to be emotional, at least. I'm writing this before I write the chapter so I'm not really sure yet… ANYWAY. I'm sorry for my hiatus, and I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you. Be warned: it's fluffier than a fucking bunny.**

**xoxo**

**Chaos**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Draco pulled himself into consciousness to the sound of music drifting through his open bedroom door. He remembered carrying Hermione upstairs to his bedroom, tucking her in, and sitting in the chair next to the bed to keep watch over her, to make sure she really was okay, and to let her know that she was not alone. He must have fallen asleep as well and while it was well-deserved rest, Hermione was no longer in the bed. He stood up, stretched the ache out of his muscles, and made his way quietly downstairs, following the sound of music until he was standing in the doorway of the sitting room.

Seated at the baby grand piano his mother had bought him when he was only a child was Hermione. She hadn't put any lights on, but the pale glow from the window illuminated her face just enough that he could see her eyes were closed. He watched her hands move over the keys as she came to the dizzying finale of a song he had never heard before. She brought her hands down to rest in her lap.

"It's a piano version of this song that really fit my mood called "All I Need" by this Muggle band, Within Temptation. It's truly a beautiful piece, and the woman who sings it has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my life," she said softly.

"You played it beautifully."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you. I just remembered you had a piano and I had the urge to play… and the shirt… My clothes were dirty, and I needed to shower… I just kind of helped myself."

"Hey, there's no need to apologize. I'm glad I was finally able to hear you play, and you look better in my shirt than I do. I want you to feel at ease around me, Hermione. No need to ask permission to do anything."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

She moved over and made room for him on the bench, and he took her offer graciously. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I'm so…. I'm so confused, Draco. I tried so hard to stop myself from letting you know how I felt. I didn't want you to know."

"Why not?"

"When you like someone… when you let them know you have feelings for them… you give them a power over you. Your life is no longer your own. Your emotions no longer fully belong to you. They become dependent on that person's opinion. I can't afford to give anyone that kind of power over me, Draco. Every time I've ever cared for someone, they've betrayed me or hurt me or they've… or they've died. I've lost too many people, suffered too much to risk any more of it."

"Hermione… You are not the only one who has suffered. I have lost people I've loved as well. I've come out of the war scarred and marked… and not just in the physical sense. I wasn't prepared for you. I wasn't prepared to feel so strongly for someone so soon after so much pain… But there you were. You lit up my world, Hermione, and God knows I tried to stop myself from falling for you. You're just so damned beautiful and sweet and absolutely amazing. You're the only person, except for Blaise, that I've felt I could really just be myself around. I know you've been hurt, Hermione, but so have I. I was thinking we might be able to put the pieces back together for one another, or try to at least."

He cupped her face in his hand and turned her so she was looking into his eyes. "I love you, Hermione. You told me you loved me too. I don't want to pretend that everything is going to be alright. I can't promise you forever. I can promise that right now there is no one else in the world I would rather be sitting here with and that when I look at you, my stomach does a little flip and that when I think of kissing you, properly kissing you, everything else fades away and the places inside of me that ache still hurt a little less. I hope that can be enough for you for now."

She closed her eyes, breaking eye contact with him, and let out the breath she had been holding in. Then she nodded once, opened her eyes, and looked at him again. "It's more than enough, Draco. It's more than I had hoped for. It's not going to be easy. I'm not going to promise there won't be some struggling to get used to this, but I promise you that this is exactly where I want to be right now, here with you and I hope that's enough for you."

"More than enough."

He leaned his forehead against hers and let their noses touch. "I want to kiss you again, Hermione. Can you promise me you won't leave this time?"

She hesitated for just a moment before promising and when his lips met hers this time, he knew that she was his.


End file.
